12. Do you have ceremony samples for us to hear? You bet! Unlike most other officiants, I record my premium ceremonies and have lots of samples to share. Check out my YouTube channel for a few.

13. Can we personalize our ceremony? Absolutely! That is my specialty and if you click over to my YouTube channel or the media page on my website you can hear samples.

14. How long are your ceremonies? Regular ceremonies are around 15 minutes. Premium personalized ceremonies are around 25 minutes.

15. How many times do we meet? Most is done over the phone, zoom and email. I do meet once for coffee with our premium ceremony couples.

16. Will you file our marriage license for us? Absolutely! Not every officiant wants the responsibility, so this is an extra that we are happy to include. 

17. Have you ever turned anyone down and chosen not to officiate their ceremony? Yes, two couples. In both cases the bride-to-be was insanely rude to her fiance during our meeting and I didn’t think that anyone could take that kind of abuse for life, so I told them that I wasn’t a good fit for them and wished them luck.

18. What do you look for in a couple? I want to see that you’re best friends and love each other’s company. You are going to be in the same house for 50 years or more, so I hope you like being around one another. I want to see that you’re excited for your wedding and expect it to be your best memory yet. I want to hear that you talk about it when you have issues and that you have unshakable faith in your partner’s loyalty.

19. What advice do you have for us that we might not have thought of? Look for wedding vendors you’re comfortable with, people who seem interested in you. Hire your officiant BEFORE you spend time shopping for most other wedding vendors. There are 2000 photographers in town, but fewer than 10 or 12 great officiants.

Couples who hire me understand that if it wasn’t for their ceremony, the wouldn’t have to hire anyone else!

20. What are your main responsibilities as an officiant? Well, to be legally able to officiate your wedding for starters, to show up on time, to sign and perhaps file your marriage license. Those are the minimum requirements, but my goal is to exceed your expectations.

21. What are your biggest challenges officiating weddings? By far my biggest challenge is couples who can’t meet the deadlines I give them. Personalized ceremonies require a team effort. We need time to write, so I need you to email me the things I ask for by the dates given. Road noise from motorcycles and crying babies during ceremonies are a challenge too.

22. Would you allow another officiant or religious official to co-officiate a ceremony? Of course! Sometimes English is a second language and I’ve had an officiant take turns with me and spoke French to the crowd. Spanish is obviously more common in Arizona.

23. What are your credentials? Long-term health issues led me to a deep understanding of how we inhabit our bodies. I know that I am not my thoughts, that I am aware of my thoughts. I know that I am not my body, that I use it to get around and perceive the world through its senses. Asking deep questions has led to some unbelievable spiritual experiences and I’ve spent regular time in prayer and meditation since 2005. I attended the University of Metaphysical Sciences and was ordained through their church after graduating with a Master’s Degree in Metaphysical Sciences.

24. Are there venues you refuse to go to, or other professionals you refuse to work with? Refuse is a tough word. It’s like saying ‘never’ and I’ve learned not to do that. However, there are several vendors who are consistently rude and difficult to work with, but overall the wedding industry here in the Phoenix area is full of amazing people.

25. Can we have guest readers or guest participation? Absolutely! Weddings are more fun when guests get involved and I bet there are lots of ways to get their participation that you’re not aware of.

26. Do you support same-sex marriage and officiate gay weddings? Of course. I’m not a caveman. I have gay friends and gay family members and love them all dearly.

27. Can you help us with legally changing our name afterwards? Yep. I’ll email a link to a name change service 10 or 14 days following your ceremony. I’m an affiliate with a great name change service called, HitchSwitch. You can get it done from the comfort of your internet connection. Gone are the days of being forced to wait for hours at the Social Security office!

28. How quickly do you respond to phone calls and emails? Usually within an hour or two. I try to be Johnny-on-the-spot, but please know I take off Mondays and sometimes Tuesdays.

29. Do you have reviews or testimonials we can read? You bet! My reviews are all over the internet and some are here on my website.

30. How have you handled complicated family situations? I helped coordinate one rehearsal where the bride’s dad cheated on her mom and was there with the “other woman.” I did my best to keep people moving around so that there isn’t time for uncomfortable or awkward silence. 

I also officiated a wedding right after the bride’s dad passed away. That one was tough, so I did my best to honor her late dad’s memory with positivity to lift her spirits, reminding her how amazing her partner and relationship is.

31. What’s the most moving or memorable wedding you’ve officiated? This is a fun question and there are several. One couple hired actors every year to put on a play in their backyard. That year it was a Roman theme. They had me dress up as Julius Ceasar and we surprised all their guests with a wedding.

Surprise weddings are great. I recently officiated one that guests thought was a birthday party and I go to tell them all that they’d been punk’d and they were there for a wedding.

Gay weddings are often really laid-back and fun. I recently officiated one that included tons of laughter and great vibes. 

32. How do you handle unexpected noise? I actually had a bride freak out and throw up during a ceremony! She came down the aisle with her mom and then out it came all over the groom’s shoes. She was obviously mortified, but handled it like a champ. We got her water, I handed her an altoid and the show went on! Staying calm and acting like I’ve seen it before is key.

When obnoxious motorcycles drive by an outdoor venue and drown out the ceremony, I simply wait for the noise to die down before I continue speaking. The same is true for planes that fly overhead.

When I say babies or small children in attendance, I usually approach the parents before the ceremony begins and ask them to please ‘secret service’ their child out if they get noisy. They are usually understanding and aren’t offended by the request.

33. How long have you been officiating weddings and how did you get into it? I officiated my first wedding in June of 2007 for my best friend and began charging money for it in 2008. I was crushed by health problems in 2004 and after many surgeries and doctor office visits have become a pretty spiritual person, so I enjoy the commitments being celebrated at weddings.

Officiating weddings is great for lots of reasons, but one that matters most is that I’m not on my feet for more than an hour and a half or two. Being upright has been a chronic issue for my spine.

I hope these 33 questions to ask your wedding officiant have been helpful. There are different types of ceremonies and each officiant or minister has their own personality and way of doing things, but these questions when chatting with any of them.